Silk burn and bangle bruises

There are red marks above my hips and my right hand is a bit tender from being squeezed into borrowed bangles that are too small but I am proud of these signs I have worn my first saree last night for Shruti's wedding. Shruti, who has been a friend of Tulsi's since they were in primary school, has involved us in nearly all of her marriage ceremonies. Hers is an arranged marriage with a guy from Ahmadabad who lives and works in London. They spend hours on end talking over the internet or phone until he arrives a few days before the wedding ceremonies start.


We go to Shruti's house where she shows us the piles of new clothes she has bought which will be displayed at one ceremony showing how her family has equipped her before giving her away to the grooms family. We accompany her to the salon and to the ceremonies at her in-laws. We return to her house for mandy where henna is painted on our hands so we must eat gingerly help each other answer phones to avoid smearing the flowers and curly-cues. In the morning on the day of the wedding, we have missed a ceremony where a yellow paste of turmeric is smeared with blessings on Shruti's face. Mid-morning we go to the party plot where the wedding itself will be held to join cousins, aunties and uncles who look on while the pundit guides her parents through blessings for the gods represented by coconuts. Afterward Shruti is sent off to the salon while we return home to rest and change. Tulsi is excited to wear a brocade blouse she has had made to match several of her mom's sarees and while her auntie makes accordion folds to be tucked and pinned in the borrowed saree I will wear, Tulsi drapes two or three before deciding.


When we arrive back at the party plot the grooms family is dancing outside accompanied by a band. Shruti's mom and sister stand at the entrance ready to receive them, backed by aunties and uncles. The groom is blessed before entering, a friend guarding his face with a handkerchief against the playful tradition of Shruti's mother grabbing his nose. The bride and groom sit on fancy chairs on a covered stage to perform the marriage ceremonies. Shruti's parents sit on the floor with the pundit while her siblings and Tulsi are on hand to adjust her heavy veil or pass her a handkerchief. Photographers and videographers from each side shine bright lights on the entire proceeding. The bride and groom put garlands of flowers around each other's necks, are tied together with a cloth, walk in 4 circles around the ceremonial fire. More mischievous traditions involve the bride's side hiding the groom's shoes and selling them back, on the last circle the bride's brother holds the groom's toe until he is payed off. The many guests go to fill heaping plates before the married couple and their families sit to eat. Afterward they return to the bride's house to do one last pooja before returning to give gifts to each individual in the groom's family. At the end the bride says goodbye to her family, crying as she leaves them to join her in-laws and husband.


We are slightly less involved but equally dressed up for the festivities for a few other weddings before heading to Mumbai. The city is a striking combination of concrete high rises and slums. It is humid and warm with a yellow light and busy energy that feels familiar. We stay with Tulsi's family, first in an older neighborhood of narrow streets in south Mumbai. We walk to the beach crowded with families and couples and see the harbor ringed by streetlights. Later we are in newer areas, shopping on linking road, meeting with friends of Tulsi's in Bandra, sampling the posh restaurants on Carter road and walking along the seafront. We take the local train to Andheri, squished together in the ladies' car, to meet the owner of a production house that might have work for Tulsi. The bus we take back is mired in the constant traffic which reminds us of LA. I meet with the woman I have been in contact with about an internship with Ashoka's Youth Venture. (Check out their work here: http://www.youthventureindia.net) I have been up in the air about whether to stay or not but they have a lot of interesting work to be done and will allow me to ease into using Hindi. I think I've just decided to be here at least 6 months. Its scary but also exhilarating. There are a lot of details to arrange but first we return to Ahmadabad.